Living The Laid-Off Life No More, Part II: Electric Boogaloo (The Conclusion)

"I'd like to say thank you on behalf of the group and ourselves, and I hope we passed the audition."

Read Part One here.

Last week I announced to you that I was leaving the Laid-Off Life for greener pastures, or at least to go work the fields. It’s been a long, hard road from Laid-Off to Newly-Employed. By government definition, the 'long term unemployed' is anyone who has been out of work and looking for new employ for over a year. I outdistanced that statistic by nearly 150%, having been 'In Search Of...' for 16 months. And, in some strange way, I am taking all of you with me into the land of office chairs, coffee makers, and casual Fridays. The thing I can hang my hat on the most is that as I was sitting here alas these last 25 weeks doling out advice is that truly following the advice I’ve meted out is what got me to where I’m going. And that comes as validation of the work I’ve done to share with you what I know.

But that’s a misnomer. I haven’t been sharing with you what I know. I’ve been sharing with you what I’ve experienced. I’ve said time and time again that I’m no expert; that’s what the actual experts at PhillyJobs.com are for. All of the guidance I’ve divvied out comes from what I’ve learned rolling down the Laid-Off Life Expressway, truths and realizations I’ve come across both through research and from my own Adventures in Wonderland. And the lesson I impart to you is that if I can do it, so can you.

So, previously on '24', I spoke about all the things you can do to get your résumé noticed and be considered worthy of the next step: the interview. That’s when the real work starts.

Before you even look up the directions of how to get to the interview, you must do all the research you can on the company again. Make sure you know as much as you can. Do research on your interviewer. Find out where they went to school and learn something about the strong programs-of-study or the football team. Find out what their interests are and casually slide them in to conversation. Find them on Twitter and Facebook and LinkedIn (but don’t contact them, just glean information). Try to get a feel of what kind of person they are so you know what to expect. Do the same for anyone you may interview with. Be up on what the company does and where they fit in within their industry. Be able to answer simple questions from your interviewer like "Tell me in your own words what you feel like we do here at Strickland Propane." Dress appropriately, and shake hands professionally. And make sure you leave the room with an outstanding final impression. After the interview, do your own post-mortem, figure out what you did good and not so good, and email your interviewer a thank-you note. Want a great way not to get the job? Don’t follow up with a thank you. For a second or third interview, lather-rinse-repeat. Keep on the company if you don’t hear back and make sure they know just how much you want the job, and more importantly, why they should want you.


And when you finally get that job offer, congratulations. It’s hard out there, and you should be very proud. Just make sure it’s where you want to be. Crunch the numbers, petition for opinions. Talk it over with your family. Make sure it’s right for you, and not just better-than-nothing (if you have the option). Often being depressingly-employed can be worse than unemployed. You don’t have to jump at the first job that comes your way if something just doesn’t feel right about it. Be sure it’s what you want. The funny thing is always that as soon as you find one opportunity, several more can be right behind it, so other options may soon be available. When I accepted this new job of mine, I got three more phone calls that same week about job opportunities and freelance work. The grass may not always be greener on the other side, but there is always a different lawn right in the next yard. And if you currently have a job you are unhappy with, there is no shame in looking for a better – or even just different – one. The economy is still tough even though the recession apparently ended last year. Don’t feel like just because you have a job and eight million or so fellow Americans don’t, that you’re obligated to just sit down shut up and be happy with what you have if you are not happy with what you have. Be smart about it, but if you don’t like your job, find another one. Don’t settle for something that’s killing you inside little by little.

The job hunt, as I’ve mentioned, is about selling yourself. That’s one reason they say it’s a full-time job in itself. Everything you do, everything you present as part of yourself – telephone conversations, job applications, résumés, cover letters, portfolio – are all pieces with which you sell yourself and promote the brand of 'you'. Always remember that anything that people see is what they judge you on. Be professional. Write professionally. Speak professionally. Don’t be stupid with the things you post on Twitter and Facebook; they may come back to haunt you. And make sure you have a professional sounding email address. No one who replies from HelloKittyLover@hotmail.com gets a job (unless you’re applying at the Hello Kitty store). You are constantly selling 'you' to the potential employers out there. Make sure they’re interested in the commodity known as 'you'. The sooner you realize your job search is really just a PR campaign with the goal to market 'you' and get 'you' a job and make an employer want to be in the business of 'you', the better off you’ll be.

For many, including myself, the job search is long, tedious, difficult, and depressing. I’ve said many times in my columns that the one thing you need to remember is that you are not alone. Millions of Americans are also unemployed, with millions more underemployed or 'marginally employed'. It’s hard out there. The best and brightest among us are in the same shaky boat. I know they are just words, but try to stay positive and try to stay upbeat. The search can beat the strongest of us down. Work hard when you can, and take time away from the search when you can. Consider looking for work in another city: the change of scenery may do you some good. Lean on your support system, whether it’s family or friends or even former co-workers. There are so many of us out there looking that you must come to the realization that your unemployment situation is often not of your own fault. The right opportunity just hasn’t presented itself yet. It will, with patience and work. And take rejections with several grains of salt. Keep your chin up and remember that there are a lot of people going through the same things you are. Try to keep from spiraling down an unemployment depression cycle. You are not alone. Unemployment – for the time being at least – is the new normal.


So how did I do it? How did I finally find my next position after 16 months of long-term unemployment? Patience, of course. Good fortune. Serendipity. Hard work. And doing the smart things. I found this particular job through a listing on PhillyJobs.com (Srsly. I’m not just saying that because they’ve been allowing me to keep the lights on for the last six months). I applied through the website’s application, but what got me the job was doing more. I found the company on LinkedIn, and found the President. I googled his name and the company name and found his work email address. And then emailed him directly. I told him I applied for the job online, but that I wanted to contact him to tell him how interested I was in the job and what hiring me would do for them. They were impressed by my initiative (see how easy?) and asked me in for an interview. A good first interview (using all the tips I mentioned above including the research and preparation with the appropriate thank-you emails and follow-ups) led to a second interview which led to a job offer. And it all came about because of using very simple extra effort to show them that I was really interested in the position and found a way to stand out from the crowd. It’s not a huge secret a lucky few are privy to; but the sad fact is that only a very few take the time to make the effort. It’s not rocket science people, just do it. And keep doing it.

So, I guess that’s the end of the chapter entitled 'Laid-Off Life' for now. I started writing this column weekly around the start of the baseball season, and here we are nose-deep in the playoffs. I’ve been imparting my tidbits of wisdom for 25 weeks, and I thank you for allowing me this soapbox from which to speak. I’ve said over and over that I’m no expert, just a guy with experience over expertise, sharing my stories with an audience of fellow travelers. My job was to tell you what the search has been like for me, and hopefully within that you’ve found some scraps of advice to which you can relate and use successfully in your own search. If I found a job worthy of 'yes', so can you. Patience my friend, patience.

I’ll leave you with a bit of sage wisdom I wrote in a previous column: "Prepare as best you can to walk out the door and face the world, adjust to challenges as they come at you, and do the best you can. And sometimes, on those worst of days, when you feel you’ve tried your best but failed nonetheless, someone will point at you and say 'That’s my guy'."

Good luck, keep in touch. And I’ll be back from time to time to impart more wisdom your way, if the powers that be allow me to do so. Thank you, friends.

Michael Hochman, employed person.



Michael Hochman
LaidOffLife@yahoo.com ◙ Laid-Off Life on Twitter ◙ Laid-Off Life on Facebook

Michael is a Copywriter, Creative Marketer, and Broadcasting Professional who has finally found a full-time job after 16 months of full-time job hunting after an "involuntary career sabbatical". A Philly native and Syracuse graduate, Michael is happy to be rejoining the rat race as a slightly older, slightly smarter rat.

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"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar." - Drew Carey

Living The Laid-Off Life No More, Part I

"Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes, I’m afraid it’s time for goodbye again." - Billy Joel

Well, after nearly (500) Days of Unemployment, your friendly neighborhood columnist is leaving The Laid-Off Life for full-time employment. Monday-to-Friday, 40-hour week, health-insurance-and-401(k) kinda stuff. The Laid-Off Life will now be The Newly-Employed Life, at least for an audience of one. Excuse me if I throw myself a party.

How did I get so lucky, you ask? Simple. Persistence, hard work, smart work, laboring through rejection, staying focused, and doing the little but often overlooked things that help you get an interview and get hired. I’ve been pushing these concepts for many months now, the ways you can and must make the extra effort. Many of us – myself included – are excellent interviewees. But you’re never going to get to show off that talent until you get your résumé noticed and are heard above the din. Let’s take a look back at a collection of the things that not only I have been doing, but the things I’ve encouraged you to do as well. Class, please open your textbooks and follow along.

Use social networking and its tools to the best of your advantage. Be on Facebook and Twitter and follow/friend/like all the job-hunting sites to keep apprised of jobs, leads, and news. 'Like' PhillyJobs.com and your specific Beyond.com interests on Facebook and follow them on Twitter. Do the same for all the great organizations out there like HireFriday, TweetMyJobs, and TweetAJob. Sign up for job tweets, and read all the useful columns and stories they provide and repost.

Post your résumé online and Tweet it on #HireFriday and #FF hashtag lists. Find a great site on which to post a public résumé to send people to, like on Beyond.com and great portfolio sites like WritersResidence (where I host my résumé). Make sure you make your résumés keyword-friendly, simple to find, simple to read, and simple to peruse. Make yourself a personal business card.

Use your own social network to stay up on goings-on in your industry, or in the job market in general. And the hard truth is that the number-one best way to find a job is through real-life or social-life friends. Don’t be afraid to hit up all of your social network friends about your job search. They may have a job at their company available, or they might be passed on a job by a friend that they are not interested in but you may be, or they may hear of something around that you’d be perfect for. Or maybe they have something they can even hire you directly for! Everyone – everyone – in your life should know you are looking for work because anyone could be the key to that elusive opening.

Augment your favorite job search aggregation sites like CareerBuilder, Monster, or PhillyJobs with smart searches through Craigslist. So many good jobs are listed there because it’s a) easy and b) cheap. Don’t forget to keep looking through newspapers (and their websites) because their job classifieds are still relevant. And search the trade magazines in whatever field you are in for jobs that may not be listed elsewhere. Trade journals are a much-underutilized source of job listings, and info about your industry.

Use LinkedIn wisely. Use it to find companies that you’d love to work for, and see who works there and if you share LinkedIn groups. Group what now? Go join all the LinkedIn groups that you can that apply to you. Industries you’re in, interests you have, alumni groups of former employers and schools. Not only can you get tips on jobs you might not find elsewhere, but if you find a company you’re targeting for work, you can find employees who share a group and contact them directly because you share a group. You never know when you can get an 'in'. And when applying to jobs, use LinkedIn to research as many aspects as you can about the company and use the information you find in applications, follow-ups, and interviews. LinkedIn is where the adults are. Use it.


Smartly and surgically find reputable placement and temp agencies to help in your job search. They don’t get paid unless you do, so they are on your side. There are agencies that specialize in temporary or freelance work, and others that stick to a specific industry. Contact them, and ask to join their bullpen of talent. And keep on them to make sure you’re name is constantly on the top of their placement lists. Many of their jobs are freelance or part-time but can easily turn in to full-time opportunities. Take advantage of this. And while you’re job searching, file for Unemployment Compensation benefits. Contact your state UC office and make sure you are getting everything that you have coming to you legally. And don’t believe the news hype: there are still plenty of UC benefits out there to be had. Food stamps? You’re not too good for it. Apply, and if you qualify, that’s another hundred bucks or so a month off your plate. Take freelance jobs if you wish, take part time jobs if necessary. Just because finding a job is a full-time job doesn’t mean that you have to start living out of cardboard boxes in the ally behind Subway.

When applying to jobs, do so smartly. Customize your cover letter to the job you’re applying and the person you’re applying to. Do the research and make sure your emails have someone’s name on them; that they are addressed to a particular person. Keep your cover letter short, and use it as an intro to your résumé, not as a rehashing of it. And make sure your résumé is targeted at that specific job. Highlight what makes you best for the job, and gives the reader information specifically molded to easily and simply show that your skills and experience match the skills and experience of the job you’re applying to. And sprinkle your résumé with keywords, even ones directly lifted from the job listing. Chances are, your résumé will be read by a keyword-searching computer before it ever gets to a person.

Don’t be afraid of cold-calling (or cold-emailing) companies you are interested in working for. Find email addresses online on Google and LinkedIn. Find people you know at the company on LinkedIn, or find people that work there on Twitter and follow them. Then email them and tell them how much you love their company and not only how much you want to work there, but why they’d be better off with you than they are without you. That’s a key when talking to companies about positions: it’s not about how great the job is or even how great you are. Don’t tell them what the company can do for you, but what you can do for the company. Every point should reinforce the fact that you can make them better. You’d be surprised how often cold calls or cold emails get results (foreshadow!). What it shows is that you want to work there, you are interested in them, and who doesn’t love that?

So, my friends, that’s a good, concise look at many of the things I encourage you to do to help attract attention to your most wonderful qualities and to your résumé for a greater chance of catching the eye of someone who wants to know more about you. In Part II of 'The Laid Off Life No More', we’ll touch on what to do once you’ve snagged that ever-elusive interview, to set you on the path to full-time employed person.

Sorry boys and girls, that’s all we have for story time today. So, much like 'Back To The Future', we’ll pick up right here with 'Part II: Electric Boogaloo' in the next column. (After Friday October 15, 8amET, click here for Part Two: Living The Laid-Off Life No More, Part II). But you will have to supply your own hoverboard.


Michael Hochman
LaidOffLife@yahoo.com ◙ Laid-Off Life on Twitter ◙ Laid-Off Life on Facebook

Michael is a Copywriter, Creative Marketer, and Broadcasting Professional who has finally found a full-time job after 16 months of full-time job hunting after an "involuntary career sabbatical". A Philly native and Syracuse graduate, Michael is happy to be rejoining the rat race as a slightly older, slightly smarter rat.

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"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar." - Drew Carey

The Laid-Off Life: Old Logos Never Die, They Just Get Rebranded

A lady once asked renowned industrial graphic designer Raymond Loewy, "Why did you put two 'X's in 'Exxon'?"
"Why ask?" he replied in return.
"Because," she said, "I couldn't help noticing."
"Well," he responded, "that's the answer."
- Alan Fletcher, The Art Of Looking Sideways

We speak a lot about personal branding when we’re positioning ourselves for job hunting. Whatever we present ourselves as – our résumé, our portfolio, our cover letter, what we wear to an interview – becomes our 'brand', the impression people remember about us in a concise thought.

Social Media expert Lon Safko once said, "We don't control our brand; our customers do." And that’s the truth. We can present ourselves any way we choose, but it’s not the impression we give, it’s the impression those we’re trying to affect receive, and those could be very different messages. Because, believe me, once your brand is out of your hands, it's like trying to take pee out of the pool - you can't undo it.

Companies spend millions and millions of dollars trying to affect our impressions of them, to solidify their brand in our eyes, minds, and, almost more importantly, in our hearts. Sometimes we control our message, sometimes our competitors control it. It’s all about perception. Macs are for hip, trendy people; PC’s are for stodgy business people. Dunkin’ Donuts is for the working man; Starbucks is for tree-huggers. Red Roof Inns are for thrifty travelers; Super 8 Motels are for the transient. University of Phoenix is a progressive new form of education; ITT Tech is for dropouts. Do your best, but what people feel a company’s brand is – or what your personal brand is – is the impression you leave.

You may not have a personal logo (unless you’re a creative like a graphic designer or typeset artist, you may), but a corporate logo is often the lasting impression a consumer gets from a company. A logo can express so much in one design, be it the Golden Arches of McDonald’s, the dot-matrix simplicity of IBM, or the colorful text of Google. And that’s why companies change logos with the times to reflect new environments, new design sensitivities, or new directions (or occasionally to distance themselves from old public impressions – see: Altria née Phillip-Morris, or eliminating, well, stupid names – see: Yahoo née Jerry and David's Guide to the World Wide Web).

All of the well-established companies in the grid below have extraordinarily world-wide recognized logos, but they have taken a winding path to where they are now. How many of the companies below can you recognize from their original logos?

(Note: Some logos altered to remove the company name. Click on the graphic to see a larger version. The answers are at the bottom of this page.)

Quiz: What Companies Original Logos Are These?

In completing this quiz, what impression did you get from the logos above? How different are the impressions you get from the old logos than the ones you get from the current, established, recognizable logos? It’s no wonder that companies spend a fortune on logo design and implementation – and protection.

So think about how this relates to you: what impression does your personal brand give potential employers? How much of the impression you wish to impart is in your control and how much of it do others control? You may not have a logo, but everything you do and everything you present constitutes your personal brand. Read over your resume, your cover letters, your attachments and additional materials you’d use to apply for a job and ask yourself what is your brand and how does your brand stick out above your competitors?

Because - trust me - you don't want your brand in someone else's hands:


(Logo quiz answers at bottom).

Michael Hochman
LaidOffLife@yahoo.com ◙ Laid-Off Life on Twitter ◙ Laid-Off Life on Facebook

Michael is a Copywriter, Creative Marketer, and Broadcasting Professional still in search of full-time employment after 15 months of full-time job hunting, thanks to an "involuntary career sabbatical". A Philly native and Syracuse graduate, Michael will gladly accept any job offer you may have for him. Any. Really. Please give me a job??

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar." - Drew Carey

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(Click on company name for current logo)

a: IBM (International Business Machines)
b: Shell Oil
c: Kodak (initials of Eastman-Kodak Corporation)
d: Pepsi-Cola
e: Starbucks
f: Canon cameras and copiers (in the original Japanese: 'Kwanon')
g: Xerox
h: Nokia
i: Apple Computers (Isaac Newton sitting under a tree)
j: Ford Motor Company
k: LG (in it’s original 'Lucky Cream' Lak-Hui logo before merger with Goldstar)
l: Microsoft
m: FedEx (the full name 'Federal Express' was dropped in 2000)
n: Walmart (the one-word-no-hyphen name was official as of 2008)
o: Volkswagen
p: Mercedes
q: General Electric (note the original stylized G-E)
r: Boeing
s: Mazda
t: Firefox from Mozilla

The Laid-Off Life: Browser Envy

"The Internet browser is the piece of software that puts a message on your computer screen informing you that the Internet is currently busy and you should try again later." – Dave Barry, humorist/columnist

Is your Internet slow? Is your Internet busy? Have you reached the end of the Internet and need to start over? Well, just go to giveusallyourpersonalinfo.com and we'll fix your computer right up over our personal Internettes.

The problem with most computer users is that their computer is not slow and confusing, it is that they are slow and confused. Despite calls for a return to sending 'classic' mail and filling out applications in person, 99% of your job hunting will be online. And if you're gonna spend that amount of time online (and of course not on Facebook or YouTube or ICanHasCheezburger), you need to browse smarter and better.

Have you been using the power of your browser to help you search for jobs more efficiently and with greater organization? No? Well, you have no excuses. Let's talk browsers, job hunter.

First, quick: what browser are you using?

If you don't know, I'm sorry but a) how did you find this website and b) why are you wearing leg-warmers and Jams?

If you answered Microsoft Internet Explorer, please go to the back of the line. Unless you have a specific reason for using IE (like you work at Microsoft or you’re online at the public library), you should not be using the grandma of browsers. Ever. No, not then. Never. Just stop now before your IE crashes both our computers.

If you answered Safari, you’re a Mac person (or a crazy person, or likely both). I’m sorry, but you’re in a minority since only 4.3% of you out there use Macs. On the good side, most viruses aren’t created for Macs since there’s so few of you. The bad news, developers don’t care about you.

If you answered Opera, you’re either an anarchist or you’re web browsing on your Wii and I can’t help you.

But if you are one of the 63% of web users using Mozilla’s Firefox or Google’s Chrome browsers, then you know about the power of add-ons. Third-party add-ons are probably among the top reasons that the market-share for Internet Explorer has dwindled from nearly 85% in 2004 (when Firefox was introduced) to merely 30% as of August 2010. I don’t care what industry you’re in, that’s a huge loss of share.

Like applications in the Apple Store, for most anything you need, there’s a Firefox add-on for that, whether it be to make your browsing faster and easier, or to make your layout look prettier. And there are several great add-ons or extensions made just for job hunting. If you go to the Firefox Add-On homepage, you can search add-ons for 'job search' or 'employment' or 'jobs' and find a bevy of helpful extensions and toolbars like JobSpeaker (a search organizer), Indeed Job Search (a job aggregator), DoNanza (for freelancers), Search4Jobs (an extension for Monster.com), oDeskJobs, and JobsBridge. And these add-ons work great to help you aggregate from your favorite job-search sites like PhillyJobs.com.

There’s also a myriad of tools to help your social media job search with add-ons for LinkedIn (Companion for Firefox), Craigslist (CraigZilla), and of course Twitter (TwitJobSearch, JobTweet, and more). There are also a plethora of extensions for Google Chrome as well. Not as many, but as Chrome’s popularity increases, more and more third-party developers will create versions of their add-ons for Chrome.

Do yourself a favor… first, if you’re not using Firefox or Chrome, start doing so now. Secondly, take a browse through the Mozilla add-on site and give a few of these job search helpers a try. And don’t stop there. There are so many tools in add-ons that make life on the web so much easier and smoother, like Hyperwords, CoolPreviews, Paste Email, Undo Closed Tabs, Stop AutoPlay, Ad Block Plus, and my favorite, Lazarus (which I’d be lost without). Making your browsing experience simpler, faster, and less frustrating will only lead you to more job opportunities for you because you'll be browsing just that much smarter.

(PS: I also highly highly suggest installing a utility program to clean unwanted files and registry errors to speed up your computer and your browser. My recommendation is the wonderfully-useful 'CCleaner' program from Piriform, as well as their defragmenter called 'Defraggler'. Do it now.)

And in the end, that's the goal, for things to be simple so you don…


Michael Hochman
LaidOffLife@yahoo.com ◙ Laid-Off Life on Twitter ◙ Laid-Off Life on Facebook

Michael is a Copywriter, Creative Marketer, and Broadcasting Professional still in search of full-time employment after 15 months of full-time job hunting, thanks to an "involuntary career sabbatical". A Philly native and Syracuse graduate, Michael will gladly accept any job offer you may have for him. Any. Really. Please give me a job??

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"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar." - Drew Carey

The Laid-Off Life: Burnt Offerings

"The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn." – David Russell, Scottish classical musician

It’s that time of the month to break open the Laid-Off Life mailbag. I received this question from a fan (long time listener, first time caller) in Philly:

"I find myself a leading candidate for a position I'm pretty sure I'm not qualified for. I haven't lied on my résumé or to any questions asked of me in any interview. But in getting to understand the position, I'm pretty sure I am under-qualified for the job, and there's a lot I'd be expected to do that I don't know how to do. Maybe they think that they're pretty sure I'd be able to do anything I knew how and figure out anything I didn't, but if that was the case, I'm not sure I'd agree with them. I haven’t brought up these concerns to the interviewer (obviously). Would I be wrong to take the job if offered? Lord knows, I need the money, and I need a job, but I'm stressed as to what I should do. Should I accept a job offer for a position for which I'm pretty sure I'm not qualified?"

(Editor's Note: above letter not actually from Kevin Kolb. But it could be.)

Wow, I don’t even know where to start. First, I would suggest asking someone much smarter and with more experience in these matters. I don’t have human resources experience, nor any inside-knowledge above my own personal understanding.

However, that previous paragraph starts to answer the question itself. I have sat here for 23 weeks now writing pseudo-advice columns about job hunting even though I’m "under-qualified for the job" and even though there’s a lot about writing this that "I’d be expected to do that I don’t know how to do". My only expertise is my own life experience. And I would suggest that follow that same advice. Take that life experience – or work experience – and use it to learn as-you-go. Use the skills you have, and develop the ones you don’t.

I’m going to try to expand on this, coming from both sides of the equation. First, I suggest you take the job, no reservations. You say you didn’t lie on your résumé or in your interviews. I’m going to go out on a limb and also say that you didn’t lie-by-omission either. I’m not suggesting that you give your interviewer a laundry list of all the things you don’t know how to do, but there’s a fine line between making yourself look good and perjuring yourself, between under- and over-selling yourself. I trust when you say you didn’t lie, you didn’t fail to mention any huge elephants in the room. It’s a moral question, I suppose, and only you know if that is the case.

One would have to think that given all of the information on hand available to a potential employer – your résumé, your interview, follow-up conversations, background checks, social media searches, LinkedIn listings, industry contacts, recommendations, references, psychic readings – that the onus at the end falls on the employer. Caveat emptor can go both ways (caveat employertor?).

There are two ways that this can go at this point:

They were right (and clearly very visionary) and you wind up thriving in your new job, learning quickly as you go, and using your already-established skills to excel at the position. The things that you didn’t know how to do you learned, and they weren’t the hurdles you thought they would be. Your new employers were aware of your theoretical shortcomings, even if you didn’t think they were. See, you had nothing to worry about.

They were wrong (and clearly without insight) and you wound up over-your-head in your new job, fell behind before you even started, and it was a bad match for all involved. You were assigned tasks you didn’t know how to accomplish, and needed to ask for help so often, you were starting to get a reputation as a time-waster and a liability. Your shortcomings became quickly apparent, and it was true that they had expectations of you that were unrealistic. There were things they thought you knew and skills they presumed you to have. If you’re lucky, they’ll realize they overestimated you but know how much time and effort they’ve already enlisted in your hiring. Maybe they’ll have patience and allow you to learn the skills you didn’t before and give you the chance to catch up. If you’re less lucky, they will decide it is best for all to part ways, no-harm-no-foul. They know it was their fault (again, assuming you didn’t lie about yourself), and they just have to bite-the-bullet. You were just an employee that didn’t work out, and you go your separate ways.

Regardless of whether you are over- or under-qualified for a job, the burden is on the company to shuffle through the haystack to find the right needle for the job. Despite all the analytics and research that goes in to filling a key position, it’s a crapshoot. Sometimes the house wins, sometimes the house loses. They’re going on a small percentage of information they’ve gleaned from you, and making a best-guess. Most of the time, they’ve hired the right person for the position, and things proceed seamlessly. Sometimes that doesn’t happen, and a smart company will know that it’s not your fault (again, if you haven’t lied) and sometimes crap happens. Then it’s up to them whether or not to continue the experiment or cut their losses. And hopefully they won’t be bitter or retaliatory if you aren’t the right fit (or, more directly, just can’t do the job).

Which brings me to the other alternative: Don’t take the job. If you really honestly think that you cannot perform the duties as assigned, even if the employer seems to think you can, pass. You know you much better than a company will ever know you before you start. They’re opinion is based on a one or two page résumé and a couple hours of speaking with you. There’s bound to be a lot of things about you and your skills that just don’t come up, or aren’t delved into deeply enough. Even if you’re the greatest idea person in the world, it will never come through if you don’t have the skills to implement them. Only you can be the proper barometer as to whether you can really do the job or not.

"But Michael," you ask, "why not just give the job a shot and if it doesn’t pan out, then you admit the error and quietly have the job annulled?" Good question, you. If you take a job and fail, you’re affecting three different sets of people: you, your employer (or lack thereof), and other job seekers.

If you take a job you shouldn’t have, picture the impact on the person that finished second. It’s possible they were actually the perfect person for the position, they just didn’t express that as well as you apparently did. In the time between you decide to take the job and possibly fail at the job, that person may have taken another not-as-good job, or they may have moved on to something else unknowing how that will end. Maybe they were generally excited about the job, and could have taken the company to much higher places. And maybe losing this job was their last straw and they’ve just had enough and… well, I’ll let you fill in the rest.

What about how it impacts the employer. They’ve spent money, time, and resources hiring you, training you, and accommodating you. They’ve planned work and projects around the assumption that you’ll be there and doing the job well. Your failure or departure leaves a big hole in their plans and could have a ripple effect on the work produced by having to cover your sudden not-there-anymoreness. Depending on how far in to the job you would get, all other appropriate candidates may have moved on and they’ll have to start the process all over again. And one guess who they’ll blame.

And of course, there’s the affect on you. Primarily on your reputation. Whether or not it’s true, the perception will be that you sold them a bill of goods, you bait-and-switched, that you’ve Rick-Rolled them. And remember how small a world this is, especially in the social network cloud. You never know when your perceived transgressions are going to follow you, and you never know who will pop up again in the future at a different company. The person you let down at Initech might very well show up when you’re interviewing at Taggart Transcontinental. Be careful reaping where you’re sowing.

So there are the various states of affair on both sides of the coin. I have no specific advice further than do what you feel is right and best for you. You can decide that if the company sees something in you, who are you to argue, or you can decide that walking in to a job you have no business having is bad business for everyone. But no matter your choice, the outcome will come back on you.

But like I said, I’m not an expert, I just play one on TV.



Michael Hochman
LaidOffLife@yahoo.com ◙ Laid-Off Life on Twitter ◙ Laid-Off Life on Facebook

Michael is a Copywriter, Creative Marketer, and Broadcasting Professional still in search of full-time employment after 15 months of full-time job hunting, thanks to an "involuntary career sabbatical". A Philly native and Syracuse graduate, Michael will gladly accept any job offer you may have for him. Any. Really. Please give me a job??

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"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar." - Drew Carey

The Laid-Off Life: Second First Impressions

"Look at the tested and think, 'There but for the grace go I'." – Mighty Mighty Bosstones, The Impression That I Get

You may never get a second chance at first impressions, but you’re sure to be doing well when you get a first chance at a second impression.

Last week, I discussed first impressions and last impressions, and the pitfalls within. This week I want to revisit those impressions, and making more, in that wondrous, hopeful, limbo known as 'The Second Interview'.


I have a second interview this week for a job I have a feeling I’m really close to. Second interviews are a fluid thing that can be strikingly different than your initial interview, a different animal all together. Or they can be the same with different people. Or it can be a test to see if a first (and last) impression holds up under different circumstances. So, how does one prepare for a call-back and what should one expect? I’m no expert (as I’ve mentioned many times before), but I have certainly been on enough to be able to give some first-hand advice.

First thing’s first: congratulations. You clearly did something right. The person or persons you interviewed with liked what he saw the last time. You’ve impressed them enough with your résumé to have you in to interview, and you wowed them in the interview to where they want to know more about you. In the timeline of job hunting, you’re half-way home. Experts say you have between a 25% to 50% chance of landing the gig at this point. Now, keep an eye on the third base coach, and look for the ball in the gap that’ll bring you in to score. Make sure you don’t undo any brand-building you’ve already erected, and prepare yourself to add on to the foundation you’ve already poured.

Baseball and construction metaphors aside, your goal in a second interview (besides, you know, getting the job) is to reinforce everything the person you interviewed with the first time 'round liked about you, and give the same personally-tailored impression to the other people you meet and interview with. So, who might that be? There’s a good chance that you’ll speak with a spectrum of new folks your second time in, like your potential boss’ boss, the human resources director, would-be fellow co-workers, a head of the department you’d be working in, other senior management, a diversity manager, a client, the president or CEO, and basically anyone else, so be prepared for anything and anyone.

What exactly are they trying to find out from you? They already have your résumé, portfolio if that’s your thing, and a good chunk of time already having spoken with you. Considering all the other people you may meet with, the biggest thing they are looking to see is if everything that your original interview said about you holds true. It’s like meeting a potential boy or girlfriend, and running them by your buds, entourage, posse, whathaveyou, to see if they approve, or more likely, to see if there’s anything glaring about them you’re missing ('Dude, didn’t you see that extra finger growing out of her shoulder?'). The original interviewer wants to make sure everyone else sees everything they saw in you. When you see a great new armoire at Ikea, be sure to bring the wife back to check it out with you, and come back more informed the second time.

They also want to glean deeper information from you. Most interviews come off boiler-plate, and only skim the surface of what they wish to know about you, getting a good general impression. The second interview will dig much deeper, get more specific about what they need to know and how it relates to the job. Questions will get more specific, and pressure will intensify, even if the atmosphere comes off more relaxed. And don’t be surprised if you’re asked to take psych and personality tests, something becoming more and more common in the business world. How do you prepare for that? Well, you don’t. You can try to find some practice tests online, but this ain’t the SAT’s.

Ahead of time, make sure you go over everything from the first interview. Give yourself a good post-mortem. Recall anything that you had trouble with or couldn’t quite answer with specifics the first time. Expect these things to come up again. Do your research on the company from scratch, knowing now what you didn’t know then. Review everything you learned that you didn’t find on their website or by talking to other employees. Go back to the company’s LinkedIn profile, Facebook page, and Twitter feed. Review anything you see, and gather as much information about other people you may be interviewing with as possible. Think about anything new you can bring with you this time: new accomplishments, recent projects, anything you’ve learned in the mean time, and questions about the company you didn’t ask the first time to show you did your follow-up homework. Plan to meet with multiple people, even possibly at the same time.

Be sure to prepare for a very-likely question about salary. If you’re lucky, they will give you a figure or a range and ask you if that’s copacetic with you. But there’s a good chance you’ll get the dreaded open-ended question, "What is the salary you’re expecting for this position?". I’m not going to tell you how to calculate that figure, but it goes something like take your cost-of-living expenses, your last salary, your experience, the research you’ve done about compensation for similar positions, what a job posting might have indicated, and what you’re willing to take, then figure out a high-end, and a low-end, and be prepared with a number or range right back at them. And, similarly, if they come right out and give you a figure they're expecting to pay, you'll know if it falls in your range. But I do suggest you Google how to decide on a figure best for you, because I don’t want any angry emails from you saying you got lowballed for a salary and it’s my fault. I’m just a columnist, believe me, we’re nobody.

One of the best pieces of advice I’ve seen about second interviews comes from Katharine Hansen, Ph.D. who says in her article 'Do's and Don'ts for Second (and Subsequent) Job Interviews':

"Remember these three more words: Fit, Fit, and Fit. A major reason for the second interview is so the employer can see how well you fit in with the company culture. Put yourself inside the employer's head and realize that the interviewers at your second interview want to learn how well you will get along with other team members with whom you'll be interacting with every day."

That’s a great summary of the purpose of the second interview in a nutshell. They already like you, they already think you got skills, they already are impressed at first shot. Now they really want to know if you’re gonna fit in with them, fit in with the department, fit in with the salary range, fit in with the job, fit in with the culture, and fit in with the collective personality. She goes on to say, "Remember that it's ok not to fit. If you aren't a good fit with the employer, you probably wouldn't be happy working there anyway." And that’s the truth: just because you’re offered a job, doesn’t mean you should take it. It’s also a second chance for you to interview them and see if it’s somewhere you want to spend the next 5, 10, 50 years of your life. As always, come prepared with more questions for you to ask them.

And this may or may not be the end of the line. You could get a third interview, or more. But if you are starting to feel like your time is being wasted, go with your gut. Maybe this is not the place for you.

So, when you’re in for your second interview, remember that you’re making new first (and last) impressions again all over the place. Remember all the things you said the first time that impressed them, and cover and highlight them once more. You’re halfway to the win now.

Just be sure, when you are sliding home, to touch the plate with your winning run.



Michael Hochman
LaidOffLife@yahoo.com ◙ Laid-Off Life on Twitter ◙ Laid-Off Life on Facebook

Michael is a Copywriter, Creative Marketer, and Broadcasting Professional still in search of full-time employment after 15 months of full-time job hunting, thanks to an "involuntary career sabbatical". A Philly native and Syracuse graduate, Michael will gladly accept any job offer you may have for him. Any. Really. Please give me a job??

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"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar." - Drew Carey

The Laid-Off Life: The Impression That I Get

"There are some people who leave impressions not so lasting as the imprint of an oar upon the water." – Author Kate Chopin

Thank you for your time, and we’ll be in touch.

If every new beginning is some other beginning’s end, then every end is a new start all on its own. So, let’s start from the end.

A lot of lip service - in the job hunt, in dating, in sales, in life - is paid to first impressions. You know, they say you never get a second chance to make a first impression (or a second chance to fix your parachute). But often and nearly always overlooked is your last impression. A really good pie can be excellent at the first bite, but if that final taste is sour, that’s your lasting impression of the pie. Bet you’ll never order that pie again, and maybe not even patronize that restaurant again. Pie faux pas FTL.

BRB – going to get some pie.

Same goes for life, and for our purposes, same goes for a job interview. We’ve discussed to death the do’s and don’ts of how to act and present yourself in your job interview: proper attire, firm handshake, well-designed résumé, rehearsed talking points, how not to umm-and-uhh, how to make eye contact, how to discretely slip a Tic-Tac. All things that are completely unrelated to the job you’re interviewing for and unconnected from any and all talent you have in your chosen field, but all things that are just as – or maybe even more – important to actually snagging the position you’re trying to get. We’re all human, and (believe it or not) so are the hiring managers and human resource reps we’re interviewing with. The truth is that just like anything, we have to work the system, and snatching up that perfect job is at best 40% talent and 60% getting them to like you. It’s a game you best be good at playing.

Maybe it’s unfair. If you’re generally timid or shy, or even overbearing and gregarious, you’re at a disadvantage. If you’re not good at expressing yourself and making people like you, you can have the greatest résumé ever and still not get the job. Conversely, you can even not be the most qualified candidate and still collar that gig with your winning personality. If someone likes you, they’re going to have a better and possibly inflated idea of your ability to do the job (trust me on that last part). You’re going to be a part of their team, and how they think you’ll fit and how you’ll relate to your co-workers is an important and key element in your personal profile.

Poor first impressions can dig you a hole you can’t get out of, and the impressions you garner through the course of an interview can win you a job. But what about that last piece of the literal and proverbial pie? A sour last taste in your interviewer’s mouth can sink your chances. Any interview you have will almost without deviation end with the following: "So, that’s all I’ve got, do you have any questions for me?"

Don’t you dare ever say, "No, I think we’ve covered everything already!" If you do, I’m coming to your house and flicking the back of your head with my finger in front of your children. Even if you have to make stuff up, ask questions. Sound engaged, sound proactive, sound interested. I can think of zillion things you can ask, but here are some generalized suggestions:

• Why is this position open?
• How can someone improve on what the last person did?
• Who is your biggest competitor and what do they do right and wrong?
• What will the new person need to accomplish in the first 90 days?
• Why did you, Mr. or Mrs. Interviewer, come to this company?
• How would you describe your management style and interaction with your staff?
• What are the work environment and corporate culture like?
• Can you describe a typical day in this position?
• What have been the department's successes in the last couple of years?
• What’s the makeup of the team as far as experience?
• What are your major projects for the coming year?
• When top performers leave the company why do they leave and where do they usually go?

And you can make the questions personal, and don’t be afraid to encourage an answer about your consideration for the position:

• If hired, where do you see me in the company in the next five years?
• Do you have any concerns about me fulfilling the responsibilities of this position?
• Is there anything that I need to clear up in order to be the top candidate?

See how easy? Now, you’ve learned a lot more about the company, showed you’ve been paying attention and interest, and left a captivating last impression. Before leaving, make sure you mention anything else about yourself or your résumé that you feel hasn’t been addressed but should be, offer references (which you’ve printed out nicely to match your résumé), concisely remind your interviewer why you want the job and what you can offer, ask for the interviewer’s business card and contact information, ask (politely) what the timeframe for their filling the position is, and ask when do you expect to be informed of the next step in the process. Shake hands firmly and all-businesslike before leaving (and do NOT forget to say 'thank you' and smile), and whether your interviewer walks you out or you walk out on your own, remember that every step of leaving the meeting all the way to getting in to your car may be being watched by someone (even the receptionist) whose opinion matters. And make sure you follow up within 24 hours with a thank-you email.

Because your latest impression is your last impression, and your last impression is your latest impression. That’s why I leave you with this:



Michael Hochman
LaidOffLife@yahoo.com ◙ Laid-Off Life on Twitter ◙ Laid-Off Life on Facebook

Michael is a Copywriter, Creative Marketer, and Broadcasting Professional still in search of full-time employment after 14 months of full-time job hunting, thanks to an "involuntary career sabbatical". A Philly native and Syracuse graduate, Michael will gladly accept any job offer you may have for him. Any. Really. Please give me a job??

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"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar." - Drew Carey

The Laid-Off Life: Craigslisztomania

"People everywhere have the same needs and values. They need a place to live and a job. Beyond that, they may need to sell stuff or get a mate." – Craigslist founder Craig Newmark

I’ve been writing this column for four months now, and I have yet to really touch on a job hunting tool that often gets overlooked by the Laid-Off Life population. I’ve extolled the virtues of social job hunting on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn, and aggregation sites like CareerBuilder, Monster, and of course PhillyJobs.com. But one source I’ve been neglect to discuss is the often maligned, often misunderstood Craigslist.


Since I was involuntarily introduced to the Laid-Off Life last year, I have made my ends meet while job searching by taking on several freelance clients, both short-term as-needed and ongoing. And the two places I have found my leads were through real-life connections and social network relationships, and from Craigslist. It's an amazing undertaking of an organization for what it is: a bare-bones online classified marketplace run by a mere 30 employees in San Francisco. If you can learn to navigate through the ads for engineless Camaros, M4F sensual massages, and rants about obnoxious Starbucks baristas, there’s some pretty good opportunities to be had among the Times New Roman hyperlinks and complete lack of graphic design.

One of the great things about Craigslist is the hyperlocalization. Seven hundred cities and regions worldwide now have dedicated Craigslist sections, including 16 in Pennsylvania, five in New Jersey, and a page for all of Delaware, and 32 different categories of job listings from accounting to writing. Ok, granted a pretty hefty percentage of job listings are not of the sort that you would call legitimate, but just like anything else on the web, use your Internet savvy and interpret the language to find the promising results.

Recruiting agencies, staffing companies, and temp agencies love to post on Craigslist. Who wouldn’t? It’s only $25 per listing for 30 days to post ($25 in Philly and similar cities, free in smaller cities). The advantage of replying to an agency ad through Craigslist – as opposed to through CareerBuilder – is that you are often replying directly through standard email to the post, or at least via Craigslist’s blind email addresses. You can present yourself as you wish, format an email as you wish, and attach documents you wish.

You’ll also find more small companies on Craigslist (even smaller than Craigslist itself) than you would uncover elsewhere. When you’re an organization with a zero HR budget, what better and cheaper way to find personnel than that? And another gold mine on Craigslist is jobs in your field at companies that are not. Through Craigslist I found a law office looking for marketing help. You can find a sales job at a research company, you can find an accounting job at a non-profit, you can find a construction gig at a travel agency. Sometimes, businesses just don’t know where to advertise. Craigslist has become that place.

Oh, and Craigslist is notorious for random jobs that are interesting, unique, and uncategorizable (yes, it’s a word because I say it is). When people are looking to fill a strange ("Need someone to write my obituary") or unusual ("Looking for body double to date my wife while I go bowling") position, this is your one-stop-shop. But as bizarre as some may be, there are diamonds in the rough. Occasionally celebrities anonymously post for personal assistant positions with very vague and secretive postings, looking for their diamond in the rough. And there have been times when big companies want to fill a key and exclusive position, or something savvy like Corporate Tweeter or Social Network Liaison, with obscure, enigmatic Craigslist ads that give nothing away. Oh, and want to be an extra for a television show, movie, or indie film shooting in your area? When you’ve become a big star, don’t forget us little people.

Of course everything listed isn’t on the up-and-up. A huge chunk of jobs on Craigslist are for work-at-home envelope stuffing jobs or just-barely-not pyramid scheme cold-calling positions. I can’t say how many of those are legit and how many are scams, but caveat emptor. If you really think you can make $40,000 just by sitting at home three days a week for a 'small' upfront fee, no one’s stopping you.

Also, Craigslist is the best place to find jobs posted by individual people, not companies. If you’re starting out with your own business, or you’re a business of one, or you’re just looking for someone to do work for you, Craigslist and the Penny Saver are pretty much your only options. But what great opportunities lie within! Start-up realtor looking for marketing help? Freelance website architect looking for someone to design a page? Opening a local consignment shop and need a good accountant? These are the jobs that you have to dig to find, but can be exactly what you’re looking for.

And if you’re looking for some great freelance work, opportunities abound on Craigslist. You just gotta search through the muck and the listings from Examiner.com to find them.

Like any other site on the Internettes, Craigslist is what you make of it. It’s a great resource if used correctly, and with a dose of caution and a dash of common sense. It can be a wealth of information, but some days, the dearth of relevant listings can make you feel like there are no jobs in the world for you. But, hey, as long as you keep using the same rules of applying for jobs as always – tailor your résumé to the job, tailor your cover letter to the recipient, and research the company posting the gig – there's nothing different sending your job search journey down Craigslist Boulevard.

So, if that doesn’t work, does anyone know if eBay lets you bid on jobs?



Michael Hochman
LaidOffLife@yahoo.com ◙ Laid-Off Life on Twitter ◙ Laid-Off Life on Facebook

Michael is a Copywriter, Creative Marketer, and Broadcasting Professional still in search of full-time employment after 14 months of full-time job hunting, thanks to an "involuntary career sabbatical". A Philly native and Syracuse graduate, Michael will gladly accept any job offer you may have for him. Any. Really. Please give me a job??

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"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar." - Drew Carey