Online Disinhibition, and Why We Still Say Things We Shouldn't Online

Oversharing on social networking is reaching epic proportions, let's take a look at why.

I know you have heard it before, but no matter how many times it's said, people still keep oversharing on social networking sites. One of the things that have hurt many job seekers and have cost people jobs and even their careers and reputations is saying things online that have come back to haunt them.

If we all know how damning a careless tweet is, why do so many people keep doing it?

It's a really good question. To answer it, we have to look at the psychology of social networking and how it can cause even the best of us to turn off our filters and say things we later regret. The root cause of this phenomena is called the online disinhibition effect; which is basically why, when we log on to the internet, we loosen our ideas about social restrictions and do things that wouldn't be appropriate in a face-to-face interaction.

I'm sure you've seen this in action, on Facebook, Twitter and even comments on websites. People who would never behave in an anti-social manner have no problem making threatening comments on blogs or bullying others through social media. On the flip side, people can also become more emotional, more affectionate and less guarded in their interactions with others. This is why some people say that they have fallen in love with someone based on internet communication.

So, why do we do this? Here are 4 reasons why we behave differently online:

1. We feel anonymous – This isn't always true when it comes to social media, but when commenting on blogs and other websites, people often think that no one will be able to find out who they are. It's easy to forget that even elementary school kids can use Google.
   
   
2. Delayed reactions – When we are talking to people face-to-face we get instant feedback about how our message is being received by the listeners facial expressions or responses. This sort of feedback will cause us to edit our comments or not say something because we are afraid of their judgment. This why we can say things and not realize that they are offensive. Sometimes this can be a benefit, because people who have social anxiety or trouble communicating can find online communication easier.
   
   
3. There are no internet police – The internet is a strange world and there are no cyber-cops to punish bad behavior. For some people, this can make them feel that normal rules don't apply and that they can do whatever they like without consequence. Of course, this is just an illusion because our actions have a real effect on others and we all have an inner-policeman that regulates our behavior, even online.
   
   
4. Assumed intimacy – When we read, we tend to forge emotional bonds with the author, even though we don't know them. This happens when we read novels and even when we read blogs and comments. If you read someones blog (this one, I hope), status updates and/or tweets, it's easy to think that you know them and that you are friends. This can cause you to behave in a much more casual manner than you would otherwise.

It seems that there are many reasons why even good people can sometimes behave badly or overshare online. Hopefully by understanding why this happens, we can prevent ourselves and others from falling into this trap.

Do you have friends that overshare online? Have you ever posted something that you later regretted? I would love to hear your experiences in the comments.

By Melissa Kennedy- Melissa is a 9 year blog veteran and a freelance writer for PhillyJobsBlog, along with helping others find the job of their dreams, she enjoys computer geekery, raising a teenager, supporting her local library, writing about herself in the third person and working on her next novel.