5 Rules For Making a Change Today!

I keep a Buddha piggy bank on my desk to have a place to put loose change in, but also to remind me every time I look at it that “change comes from within”. Silly, I know. But, self change is hard. Really, really hard. We all have things in our lives that we would like to change. For some it could be to become more motivated in their job search or careers, for others it can be as simple as making a stressful part of the day easier. No matter what it is that you are trying to change, it always has to come from inside, and it is always part of a process and not something you can do over night.

In a recent article at Psychology Today, listed rules for making a change, and I thought that they would be a good place to start.-

So, here are 5 Rules For Making A Change In Your Life:

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  Change is frightening- Anytime you decide to make a change in your life, no matter how small it is, there is always that voice in your head that tells you not to do it. That it won't work, why things are better the way they are. Letting go of a habit that has been a part of your life for a long time is scary. Don't let the fear get the better of you. Everyone resists change, so try to set a realistic goal and be prepared to work through the fear.
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  Change has to be positive- Unless you are changing something for yourself, it just wont work. Be sure that the change you are making is going to be a positive thing for you. Changing something to make someone else happy isn't a good enough reason, and you won't be able to stick to it. Don't beat yourself up about your lack of progress or not having reached a goal quickly enough. Enjoy the process and enjoy the results. If your goal is to get all the laundry done by a certain day, when you reach the goal, be sure to spend some time enjoying it. This will help your brain associate meeting the target with good feelings and will make it easier as you keep going.
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  Slower is better- You can't change the world in a day, so don't think that you can make a lasting change to your life over night. Change takes time, and setting small goals will keep you motivated and on the right track. Be sure to reward yourself for little accomplishments so that you won't get overwhelmed and give up.
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  Practice is necessary- Practice, practice, practice. Many experts say that it takes 30 days to turn a new routine into a habit. Keep practicing, even when you backslide or forget, just keep trying. Eventually, you won't even have to think about it anymore, the change will have become part of your new habits.
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  Small successes are big- Reward yourself at all points in the journey. Don't fall into the trap of punishing yourself for not achieving enough, because all improvements are big successes. Try breaking down your big goal into lots of smaller ones, so that as you move along the path, there are plenty of places to stop and pat yourself on the back.
  Making a change can be frightening, difficult and hard to maintain, but if you are persistent and keep at it, you will be able to make the new practice a habit.

Are you looking for a job in the Philadelphia area? Take a look at PhillyJobs.com!

By Melissa Kennedy- Melissa is a 9 year blog veteran and a freelance writer, along with helping others find the job of their dreams, she enjoys computer geekery, raising a teenager, supporting her local library, writing about herself in the third person and working on her next novel.

Job Interviews When You Are On the Autism Spectrum

Having a disability can make finding a job more difficult, and it is even truer when your disability isn't readily apparent. For those that have been diagnosed with Asperger's, a condition that is on the Autism Spectrum, interviews can be especially tricky. When someone is dealing with Asperger's, they often have difficulty making eye contact, interpreting facial expressions and other non-verbal communication, turn taking in conversation, interpreting implied meanings and other social impairments. The struggle is that people with Asperger's are often extremely bright, creative and have a special knack for thinking outside the box. However, the poor social skills coupled with the tendency to not deal well with anxiety can often sabotage the job search and interview. There are some tips that can help you have a successful interview.

• Apply only for jobs that you think you will be successful at- For most people with Asperger's, sales, retail and other jobs where social skills are crucial might not be the best choices. Try to focus on jobs that are in your career path but that don't require a great deal of interaction. Graphic Design and Computer Programming are both fields where your skills would be a benefit.

• Take a deep breath- Dealing with the anxiety is tough, and the fear of becoming over anxious can make it even worse. So, slow down, take a deep breath, relax. The worst thing that can happen is that they won't hire you.

• Be prepared with your resume- Make sure that you resume is up to date. Bring a copy with you to the interview, even if you already sent a copy. A good tip is to put you printed copy in a portfolio folder so that you can be sure that it doesn't get lost or messed up in transit.

• Smile at your interviewer and shake their hand (if they offer it first)- Interviewers like the handshake and want to feel that you are pleasant and eager for the job. Don't feel that you need to chat much at this point, but be sure to answer any question asked during the greeting.

• Make eye contact- This can often be the hardest part. If eye contact is something that is hard for you to do automatically, try looking at the interviewer's forehead or their mouth. Most of the time, a neurotypical person can't tell the difference.

• Keep your answers short and to the point- It is a good idea to practice answers for some of the most common interview questions. By writing out your answers and practicing them with a friend, it will be easier to recall what you wanted to say even when you are nervous and feel like you are “on the spot.” Keep your answers short to avoid talking too much or straying off topic.

• Sell your skills- People with Asperger's are some of the most creative abstract thinkers on the planet, so use this to your advantage. If you are worried that you won't get hired because of your social skills, try putting together a portfolio of some of your best work. Even if the interviewer is iffy about you based on the interview, they will still hire you if they are impressed with your work.

• Think about starting your own business- Many entrepreneurs are on the Autism Spectrum and internet companies also have the benefit of using email and messaging services to communicate with clients, which tends to level the field as far as social interaction issues go.

Many people who are on the Autism Spectrum, feel like they have a personality that employers don't like and they feel like trying to behave like a neurotypical person during the interview is the same as trying to not be themselves, so even if they get the job, as soon as they let their real self shine through, they will lose the job. And this may be true, in certain cases, but there are many jobs that don't require working as a team or being in a position of leadership. There are work from home jobs, internet based offices and other jobs that are actively searching for people who don't mind being left alone to work, who are smart and pay attention to details obsessively. So try not to get discouraged, assess your skill set and think outside of the box to figure out the best interview strategy for you.

By Melissa Kennedy- Melissa is a freelance writer and regular contributor to several websites and other publications, a volunteer, a full time mom and an active job seeker.

The Laid-Off Life: Stocking Up on Buckets

"I will prepare, and some day my chance will come." – President Abraham Lincoln

I was recently told that my columns have had a bit of a negative tone lately. Ok then, on my to-do list this week is be more positive.


As I’ve mentioned before, living the Laid-Off Life kinda sucks. But there is always good in the rough. The time you have to yourself while job hunting can be a blessing in a thinly-veiled disguise. Job hunting, while a full-time job, does not have to be an every day activity. Look at the opportunities it can afford. Projects around the house can be accomplished; clean out that closet, put in the new flooring, plant your herb garden. Spend time with your kids (if you have chosen to procreate); spend a day with them at Great Adventure, go to the park and watch them play while you access the WiFi, take them to visit grandma. Sharpen your skills by getting a job at a call center like Michael Scott or write a column for a national job-hunting website. Burned out? Spend a day at the pool. Don’t have a pool? I’m sure your employed neighbors wouldn’t mind a visitor while they’re at their spiffy job.

And don’t forget about vacations. Yes, you have no job to vacation from. I don’t see that as an obstacle. Looking for a job is hard. Don’t let anyone try to tell you you have it easy because you don’t have to get up every day, fight traffic on the Schuylkill or the Blue Route, and sit behind a desk under management’s thumb for 9 hours a day. It’s hard physically, and it’s hard emotionally. So, when you’ve had it up to here and your eyes can’t focus anymore, don’t be afraid to cash in your job-searching PTO and get out of Dodge for a few days. Don’t feel guilty about it. If you need: go. Clear up your schedule, make sure you’ve followed up on any pending applications or interviews, let your professional network know you’ll be unavailable, and give yourself a change of scenery. No one should give you a hard time, and if they do, well pffft to them because you’re on vacation and they’re not. And we was fined fifty dollars and had to pick up the garbage, but that’s not what I came to tell you about. I came to talk about timing.


There is a truth in life with enough clout that we have a pretty common saying about it: 'when it rains, it pours'. And that little ditty comes from the most reliable source of these things: advertising. That was Morton Salt’s motto, dating back to 1911, created to illustrate the point that Morton Salt was free-flowing, even in rainy weather (that was a problem? 1911 people are funny.). But whatever the station in life, this reality often comes to pass. And same goes for job hunting. When all seems down, life (and the job market) seems to like to give you a swift kick to the solar plexus. But conversely, and you can ask anyone that’s been on the job hunt for a while, opportunities and interviews come in bunches. When it rains, it pours. Make it rain, job market.

I am not sure why this happens, but ask around: it does. Recently, within the same week, I got cold-called for a copy of my résumé, contacted by an agency about a job, had an interview scheduled off of a non-job-board application, had a phone interview, and acquired a new freelance project. I’ve been so busy with current job opportunities, I’ve barely had time to, you know, look for more jobs. Doesn’t mean I’ll get one of these jobs (but I’m hopeful), but it does kind of put a little momentum at your back, like a good kick to the solar plexus. Life can be very opportune when it wishes to be, and often knows when to pick you up when you need it.


As I’ve pointed out time-and-time-again, the biggest key to keeping up your energy, your impetus along the job search superhighway is to just remember that you are not alone. Last month (July 2010), employment declined by another 131,000 persons, with the unemployment rate remaining at 9½ percent. The number of 'long-term unemployed' folks (those jobless for over half a year) remained at 6.6 million. Persons employed "part-time for economic reasons (or involuntary part-time workers)" is a staggering 8.5 million, with an additional 2.6 million 'marginally attached' workers and 1.2 million 'discouraged workers'. For an economy supposedly in miniscule recovery, those aren’t positive statistics. If you are unemployed like me, or part-time, marginally attached, or 'discouraged' (wow, I love that official term), you are still one of 27 million that are in the same sputtering boat. So don’t be down on yourself; chances are that a lot of the problem doesn’t lie within you. It’s the economy, stupid. So take solace in the fact that you’re trying your best (aren’t you?) and you’re in a very large fraternity.

So, take the little victories. Every call back, every interview, every lead, every cold call puts you a little closer, and the storm’s a-brewin’. Keep doing what you're doing and keep looking up, and if I haven’t stressed enough lately, keep on your social network; work your friends and former colleagues because they are the number-one source for leads and recommendations these days. And when you can, step back and take a breath, whether that means take a vacation or take a trip to Rita’s. Whatever keeps you sane(r). And during the times when things seem bleak, and no one is returning your phone calls, and interviews aren’t coming, and it feels like your résumés are floating out in the nothingness of cyberspace, and you’re reading about Tony Hayward is getting $17 million in severance for destroying the Gulf, just know that with effort and attitude on your part, the good, warm rains will come falling again. And when it rains, it pours.

So you better pass the Morton Salt. I hear it’s free-flowing.



Michael Hochman
LaidOffLife@yahoo.com ◙ Laid-Off Life on Twitter ◙ Laid-Off Life on Facebook

Michael is a Copywriter, Creative Marketer, and Broadcasting Professional still in search of full-time employment after 14 months of full-time job hunting, thanks to an "involuntary career sabbatical". A Philly native and Syracuse graduate, Michael will gladly accept any job offer you may have for him. Any. Really. Please give me a job??

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"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar." - Drew Carey