How To Cope When Bad Things Happen

How to be productive, even when bad things happen.

Even for the most productive of the over-achievers, there will be times when bad things happen and you feel as though you just aren't able to accomplish even the simplest of tasks. It can be something as big as losing a job and mounting a long job search and the self-esteem hit that goes along with it, or it can be something as small as an argument with a co-worker.

Whatever is causing you to feel overwhelmed and less productive doesn't actually matter. What matters is how you cope with the feelings. Once you are in the dumps, each thing that slows you down or isn't just right piles on top of the mountain of frustration. When the pile reaches crucial mass, you can have a meltdown, lash out at others or just slip into a negative mindset. If you don't do anything to solve the problem, it can build and build until it becomes next to impossible to regain your sense of effectiveness and productivity.

When you are dealing with problems at home or other struggles that add to your pressures, here are some things you can do to stay productive while you work through it:

• Accept that you are having a hard time and be easy on yourself – When you are coping with tough times, accept that even though you normally get tons of tasks accomplished before noon, right now you are having trouble. By acknowledging the problem, you can stop beating yourself up and instead, use the energy to think of ways to get through this period.
  
  
• Concentrate on the main tasks and eliminate things that aren't crucial – Instead of making long lists of things you “should do”, concentrate on the things you “have to”. Often, the over-achievers are the ones who have a hard time putting things on hold in order to deal with other problems.
  
  
  For example, if your child or spouse was just diagnosed with a serious medical issue, it's ok to drop some of your normal activities in order to deal with this situation. It's like the guy at the circus that spins plates; if you are trying to keep all of the plates in the air while dealing with it, you'll probably end up with a whole bunch of broken dinnerware. Instead, spin fewer plates.
  
  
• Get plenty of rest and eat healthy – This sounds like a given, but it's easy to forget when you are going through a rough time. When a crisis arises, it's normal to forget to take care of ourselves first. It's like the emergency instructions on planes – Adults are instructed to put the oxygen mask on themselves first, and then assist their children. Even though the natural instinct is to protect the weakest and get their mask on first, you won't be much of a help to them if you can't breathe.
  
  
  If you don't eat enough or get enough rest, you can make a bad situation get even worse. Even if you don't end up sick from this type of neglect, you'll certainly find that you'll have a shorter temper and be more prone to emotional outbursts and mood swings. Lashing out at others because you haven't really slept in a week isn't going to make your situation any better.
  
  
• Ask others for help – It seems so obvious, but still, it can be really hard. Asking for help means admitting that you are struggling. Sometimes asking for help can feel like a weakness, but everyone needs help sometimes. The people who care about you want to help you though this, and many of them may not know how. Asking for their assistance with specific tasks will give them a way to help and feel useful. So, rather than thinking of it as burdening someone with your problems, think of asking for help as a kindness.
  
  
• Be grateful for the positives – When you are struggling with negative emotions, it's so easy to forget to be grateful for the other things in your life. If you think that you are being swallowed by negativity, ask someone close to you to give you a pep talk. Even if it seems silly, their morale booster can really help.
  
  
• Start over – Sometimes the reason for the situation isn't easy to put your finger on. Everyone struggles with work/life balance at some point in their lives. Once you have an idea of what is causing the problem, think about ways to make it better. In order to do this, you have to stop, and start over fresh. For example, if you made a mistake at work that caused a lot of problems, instead of letting it pull you down, think about why it happened and what you can do going forward to keep it from happening again.
  
  
• Be grateful – Especially after the crisis is over, be sure to thank the people who helped you out and stood by you during this time. It may sound cliché, but doing little things like sending a personal thank you note, baking them cookies or some other tangible expression of gratitude will make them feel truly appreciated.

By Melissa Kennedy- Melissa is a 9 year blog veteran and a freelance writer for HealthcareJobsiteBlog. Along with helping others find the job of their dreams, she enjoys computer geekery, raising a teenager, supporting her local library, writing about herself in the third person and working on her next novel.